Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The shoe never fits
My therapist is a nice guy, but he spent 15 of our 30 minutes together talking about his vacation and his vacation home. If he was just a friend, fine, but I'm spending like $90 to meet with him, so time is money. I have decided I'm not going to go back to see him.
The problem is, he's the...let's count...fifth therapist I've seen and dumped. To be fair, one stopped practicing, but that was after I stopped seeing her regularly. I really have never found a therapist who I "clicked" with. Is it me? A doctor once suggested I had Borderline Personality Disorder, based on my serial doctor-relationship issues. Maybe she was right. I just know I've never found a good fit.
Now, much like a perpetual spinster (does anyone actually use that word anymore?), I'm starting to wonder if there really is a therapist out there that's right for me. Maybe I'll never find my match. Maybe I'll fumble through life without the all-important therapist-patient relationship, destined to walk the earth with unexplored psychoses. And, much like the perpetual spinster, I'm ready to give up on therapy altogether, writing it off as a romanticized ideal that never lives up to its promises.
Or maybe all therapy is a bunch of crap, and I'm just coming to this conclusion now.
Off topic: I did a Google image search for "pencil and paper," and this terrifying picture came up (it really is terrifying, so if you don't want to see it, don't click). What the HELL?