Wednesday was my tenth and last ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) appointment. I am so very excited to be done with these treatments, I can barely contain myself.
Oh, the things I won't miss...not having to drive 45 minutes each way for every treatment...not having to wait in the inevitible backlogged queue for it to be my turn when I'm finally there and ready...not having that "lost time" feeling every time I wake up...not wanting to sleep for two entire days after the treatment. (Well, if I'm honest, I'll still probably want to sleep, because that's just the way I work. But at least it won't be a drug-induced, fall-into-bed-and-pass-out sleep.)
I also won't miss the random aches and pains I have after each treatment, especially in my right shoulder and back. What is that about, anyway? I think the pains are a result of my muscles clenching up during the seizure, but I get muscle relaxers, so that shouldn't be it. It's a mystery.
The only thing I'm concerned about is feeling worse. For all the irritating parts of ECT, I really think it did help. And I notice that the further I get from my last treatment, the more depressed and irritable I get. This mood change could also be due to the fact that I have to stop taking my lithium 48 hours before each treatment. For right now, I'm going to assume that the lack of lithium is the culprit, and not the lack of ECT. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if it turns out I need ECT regularly to feel okay -- that would, frankly, suck. I don't even know how or if that would work. Hopefully I won't need to find out.
For now, I'm just going to bask in the glory of "graduating" from my treatments, and hope for the best.